I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
