There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize