and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
