Cold hands, warm shart.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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