The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
