Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
