mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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