wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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