I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
