Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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