Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
