Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize