I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
