Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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