I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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