I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
