Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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