he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
worst night to have a conscience
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
