Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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