last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
