in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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