its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
