i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just made my gag reflex go away.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize