Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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