Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
