I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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