At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
