I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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