That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
