Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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