we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
