Soap is not a condiment
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
