Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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