awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's a Shit stain on my heart
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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