great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
