It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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