you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Girls should come with a carfax report
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
