I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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