I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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