Plan B is the new Plan A
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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