I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He better not be in your backpack
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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