im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Never underestimate the power of titties
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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