We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
