I need to stop coming to work sober
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
