I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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