is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
How naked do you want me to be?
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