I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Randomize
