just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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