plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I love you. Go after that dick
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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