batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
