you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
