DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
