Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
smell my finger.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
