he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
