You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
