We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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