one might say we're banned from that church
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
