If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
