omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Bring me that man meat
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one