Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.