Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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