She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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