So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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