just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
