Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
