you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
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For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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