so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
