I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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