Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
