ugly people sure do ruin things
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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