She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize